Out of Place

So yesterday, it hit me that I am looked down upon by the rich folk. 

I went to my boyfriend's cousin's house (who I mistook for his aunt) for this extravagant Christmas party and Jeanette's (his cousin) house was this huge mansion.

Immediately, I felt out of place.

I stepped through the big glass front doors and was instantly homesick. It was as if I'd entered a completely new realm. 

Jeanette's daughter Victoria {Bobby's 2nd cousin}, who I think is my boyfriend's & my age, was just gorgeous and completely flawless and to call her beautiful would be an insult compared to how she truly looks. Maybe it was just me, but I felt like everyone (there were over 30 people there) kept staring me down. I've always hated snooty people, and they seemed to be just that.

Now my boyfriend, Bobby, explained that his cousin and a few other relatives of his had married into wealth, which would explain the magnanimous home and the plethora of cars and toys for the kids and the way the home was decorated and just... everything. 

I remember when Michael (one of Bobby's other cousins) was pretty much grilling me about Bobby's and my relationship, I felt a lump the size of a golfball in my throat and I could feel the color in my cheeks deepen an entire two shades darker and my eyes eventually watered up and I had to excuse myself to go outside and cry. Pathetic, I know.

But that is precisely what happens when I am surrounded by filthy rich human beings. It makes me sick to my stomach, how they think so highly of themselves and so lowly of others. I just could not stand it. I would never want to be part of such a family... if you could even really call it that. None of it felt right to me.

But yeah, that's my lame & somewhat-shortened version of the story. I guess that is all I wanted to lay out there for now.